THREE CONTRACTORS

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House.

One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Montana . All three go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The Montana contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900. That's $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700. That's $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700."

The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys. How did you come up with such a high figure?" The Chicago contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence."

"Done!" replies the government official.

And that, my friends, is how the Government Stimulus plan worked.

The Business Deal
A Chinese guy goes to a Jew to buy black bras, size 38.
The Jew, known for his skills as a shrewd businessman, says that black bras
are rare and that he is finding it very difficult to buy them from his
suppliers. Therefore he has to charge $50.00 for them.

The Chinese guy buys 25 pairs.
He returns a few days later and this time orders fifty.
The Jew tells him that they have become even harder to get and
charges him $60.00 each.
The Chinese guy returns a month later and buys the Jews remaining
stock of 50, and this time for $75.00 each.

The Jew is somewhat puzzled by the large demand for black size 38
bras and asks the Chinese guy, "...please tell me - What do you do with
all these black bras?
The Chinese guy answers: "I cut them in half and sell them as skull
caps to you Jews for $200.00 each *.......and this is why the Chinese own us!*

*"Business is Business"*